It was pizza night at the Cramer house tonight! I just didn’t realize it was going to be served with a heaping side of vomit.
It was about 8 o’clock when we all settled down in front of the TV to eat. Charlie was sitting at his little table eating his pizza and drinking strawberry flavored milk. Lori and I were both sitting on the couch with pizza in hand. We had just started watching a TiVo’d episode of “How I Met Your Mother.” All was good.
I was only about half-way through my first slice of pizza when Charlie suddenly jumped out of his chair and ran towards the bathroom. He only made it to the doorway when it hit. He stopped running and threw-up all over the floor. He looked up at us and said “Oh, Man!”
Then he turned and started heading for the bathroom again. He wasn’t done.
I jumped off the sofa and chased after him, expertly avoiding the throw-up splatter in the doorway. I spotted him just in time to see him throw-up a second time. This time it was all over the floor and front of the toilet. He didn’t manage to get the seat up in time.
It still wasn’t over.
At this point, Charlie realized that in his rush to the toilet, he had forgotten to turn on the bathroom light, so he turned and ran back to the doorway of the bathroom. As he reached up and turned on the light he threw-up a third time. Now, it was all over the wall and floor at the entrance of our bathroom.
I grabbed him under the arms and headed back to the toilet. Quickly flipping up the toilet seat, I put him down on the floor with his head aimed at the bowl. Unfortunately I set him down on edge of his second splatter and he started to slide. I caught him, but not before he had turned his head and thrown-up again. This time it solidly tagged the rim of the toilet. I think maybe half made it into the bowl, but the other half splattered all over the bathroom and him.
Finally, he was done. I stepped back to survey the damage. The bathroom was covered in curdeled strawerry milk and gooey chunks of pizza. The smell of strawberry bile was heavy in the air and Charlie was standing there pulling pieces of toilet paper off the roll and wiping chunks off his shirt.
My attention turned to Charlie, and I asked,
“Charlie, are you ok? What happened??”
His reply was unexpected,
“I never get bigger.”
“Why?!” I asked.
“I keep throwing up.”
He has always had a sensitive stomach. I have cleaned up more puke in the past 3-years than most people see in a lifetime. I’m sure this won’t be the last time this happens but hopefully next time, I can get him to the toilet a little sooner.
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