We are giving Sid anti-biotics hoping that there is a very slight chance that she is only suffering from an infection. If anyone is wondering what I am talking about see this post.
I’m pretty sure the vet believes the anti-biotics are a waste of money, but suggested them to help give us a little piece of mind. It’s not like it’s going to hurt to try.
It’s hard watching a family member (yes, a dog is a family member) getting sicker and sicker. She doesn’t act sick, but her abdomin is swelling more every day. Once we notice she is suffering, we are going to have to put her to sleep. Probably even more difficult, we are going to have to explain this to Charlie. Lori and I started talking about it tonight, so I hit the web in hopes of finding wisdom about how to tell a 4 year old that the family pet is going to die.
The end result? I found several articles that (hopefully) have a little wisdom, and Lori ended up heading to bed crying. This just made things worse since Sid was already in our bed asleep.
Here are a few of the suggestions.
- Tell your child what is happening as soon as possible.
This means we have to talk with Charlie soon.
- Do not lie.
Lies like “the dog ran away” or “went away” can cause confusion. Children should not expect their pet to return or quesiton whether they did something to make their pet leave.
- Use words like death and dying to make your meaning clear.
Avoid euphemisms like “put to sleep.” Children will not understand and can take these words literally and develop sleep anxiety.
- Let children say goodbye before euthanasia or burial.
- Make sure that your child understands what dying means.
They need to understand that your pet’s body stopped working. It’s important for them to know their pet will not be coming back.
- Be sure to show your own feelings.
If your child does not see you grieving, they may believe that you didn’t think the pet was special, or be afraid to show you their own feelings.
- Avoid getting a new pet right away.
You do not want to convey the impression that a pet or family member is replaceable. It’s also important to take time to grieve the passing of your pet. If emotions are still in turmoil, a new pet might be resented for “taking the place” of an old pet. Children may find loving a new pet to be dis-loyal to a previous pet.
I hope that the anti-biotics, no matter how remote of a chance, work.
Our prayers are with you at this time. I really hope that his problems can be soved with medicine or surgury, but if not I wish you strength in making the decision to put him down if it comes to that
I don’t know what the vet wants for exploratory surgery but it might be worth the money even if it just extends Sid’s life a couple more years until Charlie is older and more prepared to deal with it. Not that it’ll ever be easy, but that might be the best money you’ve ever spent. If I remember child psych, the first five years are the imprinting years.
When we called the vet back, we questioned the exploratory. Basically she told us best case scenario is that we might extend her life for a few months and quality of life would still be in question. Not to mention it could cost upwards of $300 a month.
If you have yet to hear a diagnosis and they’re still saying “a mass.” I would tell them to BIOPSY a piece of that mass and find out what it is. A tumor of some sort? Still, tumors can be made of just plain old fat. I would want to know if it were cancerous, then malignant or benign. If benign, can it be cut away, will it grow back and how fast? How old is it, what’s it’s rate of growth? Did it grow over many years or is it spreading like wildfire? Go back to the vet and demand a more informed diagnoses. I would expect a lady with a great bedside manner as you described: “this is a dog we EUTHANIZED” to be dismissive, but make her earn her pay, tell her you owe that dog every effort for the happiness he’s given your family and you want enough information to make an informed decision. If you put him down, you’ll also want that information so you know you did the right thing in the days after.
in my ‘pion.