NEVER EVER EVER leave a 6-roll package of toilet paper within reach of two 4 month old puppy dogs.
And, even more important, NEVER leave them ALONE with a 6-roll package of toilet paper.
Damn.
Archive for July, 2006
I can say goodbye to the Old Silver Maple that lived at the back of my yard. I’ll miss that big beautiful tree.
I will not miss the mess that comes with it, or the cracking garage floor foundation.
Random Posts
My business partner didn’t heed my warning. I’ve told him time and time again, “Bala Sharks are Jumpers!”
Yesterday he cleaned the fish tank and neglected to close the cover. This morning, the largest Bala Shark (roughly 3″ long) was missing. After an exhaustive search, he was discovered underneath the fish tank stand. The poor petrified Bala Shark (now known as “Jumper”) seemed to be an obvious victim of suicide.
After stopping by to check on Jumper’s younger brother (currently on on suicide watch after the loss of his older brother) I discovered the cover of the tank open once again. After numerous warnings about the danger of leaving the fish tank cover open, it continues to happen. Perhaps this is not a simple case of suicide. Maybe darker forces are at play here, could this be a case of fish homicide? Maybe the tank lid being left open intentionally to lure these poor creatures to their demise. It all looks very suspicious to me.
For those of you wishing to pay your respects, please stop by our offices and former home of beloved Jumper. Jumper is being displayed prominently ontop of the corkboard note bar outside of our offices.
Please send any Flowers or Cash Donations to:
The Jumper Memorial Fish Fund
C/O
Keith Cramer
TMK Enterprises / Wow Fundraising
3912 Option Pass
Fort Wayne IN, 46818
Random Posts
Sometime between 1am and 9am this morning somebody did this to the driver’s side door of Lori’s car:
I think it was the wackos in the pickumup truck from the other night.
I guess it adds character.
Random Posts
I think Charlie needs one of these mini helicopters.
It would be great for eye-hand coordination.
Yeah, that’s why I need to buy it. Charlie’s future development may depend on it!
Now, if they would just get them back in stock!
See it at thinkgeek.com
Random Posts
A couple of weeks ago, the code of silence was broken. A post on Ransackery.com exposed the age old, yet seldom mentioned mystery of the disappearing
Just go here and read the “Porcelain Trap Door Mystery” post for yourself.
On to the whole point of my post - Today I visited the office bathroom and stepped up to a clean bowl to take a quick… #1. After I was finished, I flushed the toilet and the counter-clockwise twister formed in the center per normal, but then it happened. Up through the center of the toilet twister floated what I can only assume was the product of the toilet’s previous visitor. Last I knew, flushing a toilet is supposed to be a one way trip. Why I was the recipient of this unwanted gift is beyond me.
As I stood there staring at the product of this backwards flush, I wondered what may have happened before me. Was this the result of the “Porcelain Trap” that Ransackery was talking about?
As I flushed a second time, I couldn’t help thinking that maybe the owner of this gem would like to know that the toilet did not steal the result of his efforts. It was not transported to the planet of stolen socks, pens and fecal matter as Ransackery contemplated, but was merely temporarily detained on it’s journey to the bowels of our city’s sewage system.
If you really think about it, I was given the honor of restoring a little bit of order to our world. I guess everyone has their place.
Random Posts
Its 4am Wednesday Tuesday morning (yeah, still up) and I just saw a pickup truck drive by my house with a guy wearing a skull cap hanging off the tailgate, and its storming outside.
I thought being up until 4am was out of the norm, but they definitely win the award for the wee-hour freaks wackos.
* Thanks to Dave for pointing out that I had my days screwed up. I changed the word freaks to wackos while I was at it too. Wee-hour Wackos has better alliteration.
Random Posts
I saw this sign on the way to work today at a local coffee shop.
Random Posts
We’ll deep fry ANYTHING in this country.
(yeah, I know it’s blurry.)