Archive for October, 2005

Don’t do that!

Part of raising a child is teaching them the things you have learned in your lifetime. I look forward to departing my wisdom to Charlie as he grows up.

I just never realized the kind of things I would get to teach him though.

Charlie: I have to get this booger out of my ear.

Me: What?!

Charlie: I have to get this booger out of my ear!

Me: You have a booger in your ear?!

Charlie: Look. I do this (sticking his finger up his nose) then I do this (sticking the same finger in his ear). Now I have to get this booger out of my ear.

Me: DON’T DO THAT!!

Charlie: Ok.

Passing on my wisdom feels good. I think.

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Buying a new computer used to be fun.

I remember when I used to look forward to buying a new computer. It was exciting to get the new hardware that would push your old system to the curb. Opening the boxes and getting a whif of that new computer smell. Hooking it up and hitting the button that brought it humming to life. In only a few minutes you could be surfing the net, manipulating your digital photos or playing a favorite game.

I just bought a Dell 2400 and it isn’t fun anymore.

It all started a couple of weeks ago with a call to Dell Computers.

I already knew what I wanted, so the call to order SHOULD have been easy. I needed their basic, bottom of the line system. I didn’t need anything fancy. I knew from the website that the computer I wanted was going to be $349.00 + $50.00 for a 17″ monitor, and there would be a $24.00 handling fee (a complete B.S. charge) + FREE Shipping. So with tax I knew I would be looking at $450.00 dollars or so.

I decided to give them a call, and see if maybe I could swing an even better deal. Like maybe getting rid of the B.S. handling fee.

The first guy I talked to was clueless. I’m not sure if he even knew he was selling computers. He was determined to sell me something far above my price range. Even though he really couldn’t explain any of the details. I gave up and decided to call back later.

The second call, I couldn’t understand the lady. She had an incredibly thick accent. I gave up again.

My third call didn’t get any better. Where do they find these people. When I asked her the specs of the computer she said “It has 256 memory and costs around $500.” According to her the monitor was going to be $120.00. Ugh.

The fourth guy. Yeah, he told me that shipping was free. but there was going to be a $75.00 handling fee that was impossible to get rid of. I asked about the price I had seen, and he told me the BEST price he could give me was around $490.00. Click. Try again.

Finally got someone who got me to the right model and right price. I tried to get a little better deal. No go. So I bought anyway. I was getting tired.

After about a week, I got the system. Pulled it out of the box and plugged it in.

I guess Dell is in bed with evey major Internet Dial up provider. My desktop, startup menu, quick launch menu, favorites menu were all loaded with AOL, Earthlink, MSN, and Netzero crap. So I started uninstalling. Then I went after all of the other freebie programs installed. It takes about an hour to eliminate all of the software and trial programs they load on your new computer.

I feel like I had to put the system through detox before I could use it. “First you must be sober and clean Mr. Computer, then I can use you.”

I decided to install my wireless connection to the system. Windows XP told me I had some sort of compatibility issue with my USB DLINK wireless access point. I couldn’t get it to work. I gave up and ended up dragging a network cable through the house.

Digital Camera time! Just plug it in and go right? wrong. I guess if I want to use the over complicated gallery and image editing software that comes with the camera it would probably work. But all I want to do is drag and drop the photos from the camera on to the computer. It should be easy - but it isn’t. I guess I will fix that tomorrow.

I still have to tackle the scanner and installing all of my software.

This isn’t fun anymore. It smells like work.

Plus, I checked Dell’s site the other day. They have discontinued the model I just received. It isn’t on the site anywhere, and they have dropped the price on the next best model to what I just bought.

I think I am going to give them another 5 calls or so tomorrow to let them know what I think.

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Guilty Pizza.

I bought a pizza for dinner tonight from the Pizza Station. It’s like 5 mins from our house, and I used to go there all the time. I sorta know the guy that owns it, and whenever I pick up my pie, we chat for a few minutes. It’s been quite awhile since I’ve been there though. There are like 7 other pizza joints within 4 mins of my house, and I’ve been buying from them lately. (They’re closer ya know.)

I stopped in to pick up my pizza tonight, and he gave me a weird look, and asked what I’ve been up to lately.

I think he knows I’ve been cheating on him with the other pizza joints. I have enough stress in my life. I don’t think it’s right that I feel guilty about eating other people’s pizza.

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I don’t wanna tip you.

I ordered a pizza from MJ’s Pizza the other night. A carry out special. Total charge for a large Pepperoni Pizza is $5.25.

I walked in and gave them six bucks.

The guy behind the counter handed me my pizza and looked at me and said:
“Your change is 75 cents.”

“Great, Thank-You” I said, holding out my hand.

He looked at me again and said “Your change is 75 cents.”

Again, I said “Great”, as my hand still hovered over the counter.

Again, he said “Your change is 75 cents.” This time holding 3 quarters about a foot above my hand.

A little perplexed, I looked at him and said “75 cents?”

“yes” came the reply. But the coins were still being clutched about 12 inches above my hand.

Finally. I looked at him and with one last “Thank-You”, I reached up and pulled the coins from his hand. I had to literally PULL them out of his greasy pizza sauce covered fist.

I don’t tip when I pick up a pizza. I certainly don’t tip someone who holds my change hostage.

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The crash heard round the corner.

If you look very closely at this picture, you can see the face of a very guilty three year old.

All we heard was a crash followed by a scream. I hurried around the corner and I could barely make out Charlie’s silhoute through our newly shattered storm door window. Luckily he hadn’t cut himself - just scared himself silly. He was holding his toy fishing rod. It’s one of those toy fishing rods that have a magnet on the end so you can pick up fish with magnet noses. Turns out he whipped it into the window to get our attention. He did.

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